creature. ¿cuando cuando?

i did it.

i feel strong again.

but not for the reasonings of before. i'm not strong because i have to be. i'm strong because i'm knowing who i am. because i'm not allowing things to crush me.

it was hard.

i did not enjoy it.

but that night i had confidence that i can't even remember the last time i've had for myself.

a new friendship i have has caused me to realize well more to confirm some things for me. this person has no idea. but it's what they intend. one day i'll tell them. but for now thank-you 'rich man'

so michael buble's new cd came out tuesday. and i bought it yesterday. i wanted to get it tuesday but was enjoying relaxing so i went yesterday. it makes me smile. it makes me cry. i want my creature. i miss her beyond explanation. i need to hear her voice. i need to have some of that good old creature bonding time. i want to dance with her. i want to tear out magazine ads and color on them in the back of the red mini van. i want to widdle wood on a lawn chair. i want to make cranberry relish. i want to go to ted's and anderson. i want to go to niagra on the lake. i want to laugh so hard it hurts. I WANT MY CREATURE! she's my everything.

until i see you i pray that God lets you know i love you goosie forever and ever and a day. mmmwwaaahhh! (just like we did with coco)

i want to go home...

matthew has a game tonight. the posse will be there. struttin' it in shirts i made last night. well this morning really. i stayed up until 4. i've also made posters. which at 3.30 they looked really good. i went and looked at them a little bit ago and 2 of 4 look good. haha. it's ok though. jack and family will be there. also known as the potts. mike will be there. paul. along with lily and milly! haha. oh richard. we're so crazy.

richard is so amazing. he makes me laugh almost constantly. i love when he stays up to talk to me. i love when he likes to come be on the computer with me. we have so much fun. it reminds me of my papi and i. no one has ever come close to that. last night i just couldn't help but say nothing but nod my head for a little while and smile at him. it was a moment i didn't want to lose. he's so great. thank You once again for providing me with this astonishing friendship. You are truly great in all that You do. i can't thank You enough. i love You Lord.