2.22

couldn't sleep. once again. i want to run in the rain again. i want to get out of here. just to get away from thinking. me and the sound of my footsteps only. maybe i would play some more soccer too. i'm going to get myself sick this way. but i can not help it. it feels so good. she don't know why... hmmm... that seems to match so many things. i can hear them singing and playing that over and over in my head still. i really like that song. yet it matches so well that i don't know. that big smile. will i ever get it out of my head. 'i would not be able to give you the attention you deserve.' i need the attention but it's almost as if i don't want it. standing here i'm waiting. waiting for you to say ok. waiting for it to all be alright. waiting for that hand to hold. waiting for that person that will help me. and hopefully help me get past things. i'm waiting and it is hurting to. i just... ahhhh i can't do this.