'pretty girl sitting next to me...'

ok here we go. well i'm amazed by how God works. totally and utterly amazed. i'm learning something that applies to me now and that i will use later in life. i'm learning what love is. real love. unconditional love. amy hartley is truly amazing. she's letting me love on her kids as if they were my own. and how i love them with all my heart. they are beyond a blessing in my life. and the fact that they are excited for me to come over and sad to see me leave literally brought a tear to my eye as i drove away tuesday. those kisses and puddle of tears sitting on my shoulder were what went through my mind constantly for the rest of the night. those tears on my shoulder made me smile when no matter how ok it was as soon as mom came it was all better. and only a mother could do that. as i see all this and as God is blessing me with being such an amazing teacher once again i can't but help and be selfish and wonder and wish that i could of had this. it hurts to know i didn't. the love that ericandamy shed about these 2 beautiful creations is all that i can wish for me to bestow upon my own childeren when God blesses me with them. later this same evening i was only blessed even more to spend the evening with a awesome couple. markandsarah. how much i care for them. i thank God every chance i can for putting them into my life. there are no words to describe what they mean to me.i saw amalie for the first time. and just as sarah said it was wonderful. i loved it. i am completely consumed by jet right now. i'm absolutely loving there new cd. the one song is repeating constantly in my head. yay! tonight God showed me his kindness once again by letting be able to spend sometime with my bestest friend and her fiance. yay! i got my hair cut and i'm pretty excited. i'm liking it. i'm so glad she was with me. it made it all the better. and i think it may have ended up helping me more wedding plans. yay. just realized i had forgotten about my laundry but we fixed that issue now. so yay. new york is literally a week away. i'm very nervous. but completely excited at the same time. a couple weeks and i see nick. i'm exstatic. this is going to be a very fun trip. i'm so happy that he's excited about it. and i finally get to actually see this city he loves so much. how awesome is that. tomorrow is the sugarcult concert with my bestfriend. i'm so excited to have a girls night out with her. we both definitely need this i know. and we get to see estaban before hand. yay. and breakfast with mi madre? probably and that makes me smile. te amo mama. so you know life's been hard. i've definitely been feeling down a lot but right now it's good. i had a very wonderful and much needed conversation tonight. there is a giant smile on my face.