so many things did not go right yesterday. it really hurt. i just wanted it to be great on my birthday for once. even though really today is my birthday i celebrated it with my family yesterday. it was all really great. except for one thing... him. ahhhh! no words to describe it. lauren's birthday was on thursday and everything went fine until we were at the restaurant she got really dizzy after 5 minutes of being there. after an hour we got our table and just placed our drink order and then she wanted to go to the bathroom. we went and that's when it all started. she started throwing up and couldn't stop. i felt so bad and there were no words for me to say to comfort her even though i tried in so many ways. i knew exactly how she was feeling. she's feeling a lot better now but i felt horrible for her all night. she couldn't even eat her favorite cake that michael made for her. she really liked all of her presents though. michael's was the best. he's so awesome and he definitely cares. i'm really happy lauren found him. he's definitely the best guy out there for her and treats her just the way she needs to be. i really feel like crying. i hate crying with a passion. why we have tears i will never know but it hurts. i wanted to be sleeping and i did for a little bit and then i couldn't really and i kept getting text messages from people telling me happy birthday but evenly spaced out enough 5 minutes after i'ld fall asleep i would get the next one. i'm glad i got them but i can't sleep. and i leave to my buffalo in 4 hours and i can't sleep on planes and my day is packed already so there is no time for sleep so i need to get it now and i can't even fall asleep. i got my willy wonka coat!!!!! (jessica i will wear it to our meeting with bill next friday just for you. even though the people in la madeline will think i'm crazy and need to go to a mental institute i know you'll be there to support me. hehe.) so now all i need is my top hat that i've always wanted even without the willy wonka coat. maybe i'll stumble upon one soon. i hope so. we ate at pappasito's for dinner it was awesome. i saw some people that i really needed to see. really one person. that's what really made my day. i can't wait until i get back from my buffalo to go and hang out with this person and just be surrounded by that sincere caring. getting that hug from that friend and letting me know it will be ok soon and they're there for me whenever i need something even if i were to call right now. that hug just lets me know so many things and i got that hug yesterday and that meant everything and i will get it again soon enough and i can't wait. it's definitely something i need right now. i can't wait to leave for my buffalo and my new york city with my best friend and show her to where my heart is and the area i love and long to be in again. there is this undying passion for it. hopefully one day shannon and i will move there for a while. at least a year. i can do some mission work there or even take a week or couple week long trips to canada. that would be incredibly awesome. how can a person be so rotten? how can they just want to keep the problem going all the time? why not change? why bribery? gosh. so angry.
20 August, 2005
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13 comments:
don't forget bill...he'll have to come along too..hehe I hope you girls are having a blast up there...so jealous!
can't wait to see ya sunday!
thanks guys. yeah we definitely had a blast! shannon- i suppose we can bring bill... hehe just kidding i know the whole time i realized we'ld bring him but it's just getting him there we'll just have to drag him or kidnap him and put him in a suitcase so he can't say no. hehe i can't wait to see you guys too. i missed you guys so much.
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