el pensamiento al quiero manejar...

there is no words but tons of emotions... wow! this song really stuck out to me today. it is 'all i can say' by the david crowder band. lyrics:

Lord i'm tired
so tired from walking
and Lord i'm so alone
and Lord the dark
is creeping in
creeping up
to swallow me
i think i'll stop
rest here a while

and didn't You see me cry'n?
and didn't You hear me call Your name?
wasn't it You i gave my heart to?
i wish You'd remember
where you sat it down

chorus:
and this is all that i can say right now
and this is all that i can give

bridge:
i didn't notice You were standing here
i didn't know that
that was You holding me
i didn't notice You were cry'n too
i didn't know that
that was You washing my feet

yeah so wow! i've only heard that song a million times until i finally just was wow! so cool. i just want to go out and do something to get stuff off of my mind. i want to go alone too. but i can't do stuff alone. (yes i can do some stuff but i don't like to) i really need some help sorting out some thoughts right now and i'm having the hardest time and i don't know what to do.
what do you do when someone doesn't call you for almost a week and you are used to talking to or seeing that person every day? they know you backwards and forwards. they know everything about you. but they just don't seem to be there. (no this is not a boyfriend or anything like that)
speaking of boyfriends i met this really awesome guy yesterday. he was in orientation at work yesterday. he's everything on 'my list' (what i want my husband to be... don't ask it's michael) the only thing that i'm not positive about is if he likes baseball. so i'll have to ask him on sunday when i see him. i work with him! he's so cool. and get this he just spent the last 4 years in london because his dad works with an oil company and gets restationed every couple years. how cool is that? so he told me that sometime we'll have to go together!! yay!! that is definitely exciting. i'm so hungry. i haven't eating dinner yet. i just have no incentive to go get some food. i'm lost in my own thoughts. i'm struggling so bad with some of them right now. i keep getting these innocent phone calls from a friend that are actually about something completely different but at the beginning of all of them she'll ask 'so how are things going?' and all i want to do is tell her all my thoughts because i know she'll understand and give me advice but i just can't seem to bring myself to tell her some stuff over the phone i want to see her in person. so i'm just waiting until we hang out or meet or something so i can share with her. i love her. i miss my buffalo too. i miss my mimi. my cap'n rainbow. my homeslice creature. (even though she is in college and a couple hours away.) my lisa. and all the others. i miss the portrait i have and thought that my dad was. the one i wish he was. i guess. my shoulder is killing me. i see the doctor in a week and 1/2. i can't wait. hopefully nothing else is seriously wrong.
i just want to go driving...