today i figured out what happy is... thanks.

the post i promised.

i've spent the past 2 days constantly smiling. i had about a 6 hour conversation with someone yesterday. then spent the whole day not being able to get them out of my head. then i just received a phone call a little while ago. for some odd reason today i got nervous. not exactly quite sure why. yesterday i had butterflies but it was an excitement it was not a nervousness. i think. i can't wait until the next conversation tomorrow to see where it goes. it's a new thrill. it's suspenseful. i'm liking it though.

i also had a few amazing conversations with ryan last night and today. and i'm hoping that everything works out for tomorrow evening. so that we are able to do something.

i ruv you beautiful. (thanks...)

levi is so amazing. i had not seen him in a few weeks and nicole and i had a date tonight. then nanette came. levi gave me a call right as we were about to order. he was calling to say he didn't think he would be able to hang out tonight because he was going to go and see his mom. then about ten minutes later as i was telling nicole about the conversations i've been having over the high booth's edge i see levi! i screamed and we hugged. i love how for no reason whatsoever he surprised me. it definitely made my smile even bigger. i've been dieng to see him lately. it's been kind of ruff and his shoulder hasn't exactly been so close for me. which is odd. but i'm so glad i got to see him. and to hold arms and just to hold on to him. ugh. it was wonderful. i finally got to spend time with my best friend and have many needed conversations today. all day. because we had worked together this morning. last night i slept a few hours! and i let nothing get me down today.

today was possible the best day i've had in a long time.

and very much needed.

it had to do with 4 people. mainly one. so thanks to you all. you know who you are.

but even though this is such a shorter post than my normal ones. i'm going to end it here. i'm going to go and try to get some sleep. pray that i do. because i hopefully will be getting a phone call at 4.15am but i highly doubt that i will because you see this person doesn't seem to neccesarily trust me when i say it's ok and i would be more than thrilled to get a phone call. and if they indeed do then i would be more than ecstatic and would not want to miss it and i would not want to be asleep so therefore i shall try to now.