not wanting to speak. not wanting to say the words that are going through my head. who knows how they will turn out. these things are driving me insane. i'm feeling pretty down today. and things just got a whole lot worse as i sat here and wrote only two sentences. what the crap. what is going on lately. this is beyond exhausting. i'm just wishing everything would stop for a little while. ay. Dios ayudame por favor. with everything. give me wisdom, strength, courage, a heart, and so much more. let me show that i can do this with only your help. this is so. ugh. this day was already hard enough and now tonight too. gosh. i want nicole. i wish she would ugh. please. i need this right now. today i did smile for a few hours. because of desi! she's so amazing. i like her. i really do. i can't wait for the next couple of days. i'm breathing to heavily. my heart is racing. and there is something on my cheek that belongs to my eye.
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