dance with me tonight.

this has been pretty busy. not busy enough for my lack of energy though.

i'll be going home sometime this summer. still trying to figure out when. i wish someone would go with me. just not sure i'm ready to do it. well actually i know that i am. but not sure how i can hold myself up. creature will be there. and that will make the world. i miss her. it's been since october. that is far to long of a separation of the creatures. it's quite disturbing. no one will probably understand as much as us. i'm tired of being so far away from her. maybe i should for the next 6 months. but after 3 she'd be gone. not as far but still. this just ugh.

today i have 8 people in orientation. it's ridiculous. and after i left austin was still hiring people. his comment to me on the way out was this is going to be one record of an orientation. and then laughed. i said thanks. hopefully everyone will have their paperwork finished.

will i ever get that dance...

my stomach is in knots. i'm trying to do this to get my mind off of it all but it's not helping anymore.

creature. ¿cuando cuando?

i did it.

i feel strong again.

but not for the reasonings of before. i'm not strong because i have to be. i'm strong because i'm knowing who i am. because i'm not allowing things to crush me.

it was hard.

i did not enjoy it.

but that night i had confidence that i can't even remember the last time i've had for myself.

a new friendship i have has caused me to realize well more to confirm some things for me. this person has no idea. but it's what they intend. one day i'll tell them. but for now thank-you 'rich man'

so michael buble's new cd came out tuesday. and i bought it yesterday. i wanted to get it tuesday but was enjoying relaxing so i went yesterday. it makes me smile. it makes me cry. i want my creature. i miss her beyond explanation. i need to hear her voice. i need to have some of that good old creature bonding time. i want to dance with her. i want to tear out magazine ads and color on them in the back of the red mini van. i want to widdle wood on a lawn chair. i want to make cranberry relish. i want to go to ted's and anderson. i want to go to niagra on the lake. i want to laugh so hard it hurts. I WANT MY CREATURE! she's my everything.

until i see you i pray that God lets you know i love you goosie forever and ever and a day. mmmwwaaahhh! (just like we did with coco)

i want to go home...

matthew has a game tonight. the posse will be there. struttin' it in shirts i made last night. well this morning really. i stayed up until 4. i've also made posters. which at 3.30 they looked really good. i went and looked at them a little bit ago and 2 of 4 look good. haha. it's ok though. jack and family will be there. also known as the potts. mike will be there. paul. along with lily and milly! haha. oh richard. we're so crazy.

richard is so amazing. he makes me laugh almost constantly. i love when he stays up to talk to me. i love when he likes to come be on the computer with me. we have so much fun. it reminds me of my papi and i. no one has ever come close to that. last night i just couldn't help but say nothing but nod my head for a little while and smile at him. it was a moment i didn't want to lose. he's so great. thank You once again for providing me with this astonishing friendship. You are truly great in all that You do. i can't thank You enough. i love You Lord.

musical cheers

so saturday night i went to shoot a show.

keith davis band.

i was somewhat nervous. i knew keith but no one else. i was going to the woodlands so very small chance of running into someone. i went. and remembered i had a friend out there so called them. they came. a little 'professional' feeling to that. but i did it.

keith was amazing. i felt so comfortable. i love his band members. they are great. i felt very comfortable with them.

we all laughed as if i had known them for quite some time. it was great.

then they got on stage and it was tremendous. i fell into the music. it surrounded me no matter where in dosey doe coffee house i was. (yes it sounds very hickish. i'm not going to lie. it somewhat was. but it reminded me more of cracker barrel. just a southern place.) it was a great venue. i loved it. keith wants to have more shows there. i'm excited about that.

the staff made us feel very welcome. and that's definitely a plus. obviously. but you know.

i'm excited about the new friendships i've made. i'm excited about getting to know them all better. i'm intrigued to know more.

hopefully i'll see him again before june 8.

anyways since then i've been so busy as well but not really wanting to talk about it.

tonight is community group and i can't wait.

i'll write more thoughts and things later. just drained right now.