just the spinning...

the problem is being transferred.
finally.

am i being to forward.
why?
i'm never this forward.
i need to be more mysterious.
yet i seem to be...
how so?
i don't see it.
30 more minutes.
wow.
it's not like me.
at all.

ayudame por favor.

giro por un alambre con ningún acceso.
la pared...
está allí mas giro.

this chain around my neck.
with a pendant to represent those times.
is there still any resemblance.


buzz, buzz, buzz.
is it really known.
or has the secret been told.

amelia bedelia did exactly as the list told.


oh i need to decide on my dinner for sunday.
my creature and her family are finally arriving tomorrow evening at midnight. (yes i know not really tomorrow evening then) i'm beyond excited. lots of plans. lot of laughter that is much more than needed. it's driving me crazy waiting. well as well as other things... anywho, sunday i am using my lovely culinary skills to make this very large meal for mi familia, creautres family, the potts, and the terry. i'm very excited... yet i haven't finished planning on what i will be making. uh-oh. so tonight i need to do that. crap as well as i need to go listen to that shutter. any ideas?
to smell the burning wax.
and no not candle wax.

i need to be away.

the coldest yet

yes i know.
i've been slacking.
it's been sometime since i've updated. so here we are. here's what's happening.
here is the inside to me.
as much for comfort.
the one and only fear is back. the one that brings the 'fears' people say i have. it's tormenting me. it has come as soon as i was in the process of checking the last clip to make sure it was all secure and starting to climb this mountain of a journey. then there was that one pebble that somehow seemed to go unnoticed yet all it wanted to do was to warn about the avalanche that was about to come. i'm not quite sure what it is. maybe i may not speak it properly but all i want is to leave me be. stop torturing me.i finally was able to get the knife out and start healing and then all of a sudden from behind it's there at my neck again. waiting to seep into this plaster skin of mine. just stay away. i will go down dying in this fight before i allow it to come back. i didn't allow it then what makes you think i would now. when i said it's through and it ended, did that mean nothing? do you think this is a game. AH! your voice is enough. it's a bullet in me every time i hear it. ugh forget this.

this infatuation has become more.
what more is i don't know.
where it will go i don't know.
it's a great feeling.
except the past few days.
but maybe my dirty little secret was right.
maybe it is good.
two more days.
what does all this mean?
why is it the situation tends to be the same... maybe a little more each time. yet the result keeps staying the same.
ugh.
just need to keep praying.
maybe i thought more than i heard.

it's freezing right now.
i'm shivering almost.
i don't get this cold.
oh well.

broken.
empty.
stolen.
thankful.
hurt.
joyful.
pounding.
calming.
new shoes.
lets get down and dirty baby.
i keep calling you to see if you're sleeping.
and if you're sleeping are you dreaming.
and if you're dreaming are you dreaming of me?
i can't believe...