¿today?

well today has been pretty ok so far. i did absolutely nothing this morning i just sat here in my room trying to think of something great to do and i couldn't so i just stayed sitting here and just thought about stuff. then i finally got hungry and i went to get some food and then he was there and it was just blah. it was semi-ok and then it just got really aggravating and i felt almost as if i was going to hyper ventilate or something. then my sister helped me do my hair. then michael and i got to go to the mfah and see the baseball hall of fame exhibit!!! it was so much fun! we had a good time and we had some pretty good laughs. while we were there we saw these two guys that were talking down about canadians and i almost had to jump them or mug them or something... but i kept my peace. i wanted to steal so many things and so did michael. just kidding. but really we did want a lot of the stuff it was just so awesome. and to me it felt like i was in a dream as i even got to touch a model of babe ruth's bat and as i got to touch and see so many other things. it was soo great. i really enjoyed it. that made up for any sickness of this morning. i just loved being there and being surrounded by something that i had such a great love for and that i used to help calm me down or get me out of so many situations (when i didn't use a brick... lots of them; which i haven't in a few months now (: it feels kind of good. but it's hard not to.) but then at the same time and i told michael too some of you know this that i got a scholarship to play baseball for a christian college in georgia (the coach is the scout for the texas rangers. talk about opportunities) if i were to accept and to go i would be the first women in college baseball ever (more opportunities) but with me going into the mission field and wanting to do it through kaleo i don't think this will work and today it hit me. my childhood dream has been shattered. me playing with the yankees will never happen. me playing with derek jeter (not because i think his is tremendously hot) will never happen. it finally hit me and it sucks. i've wanted to be on the yankees since i first saw a game and since i first held a baseball. i always wanted to do it to to make my daddy proud. even though i know he'll be proud of me no matter what. but when i told him i got that scholarship and that my dream may happen he was more ecstatic for me than he has ever been. i'm just upset and angry but also happy i'm going into the mission field. but it hurts. a lot.